Stream of Unconscious

Today I’m going to try something new, albeit in an abbreviated way. At 12:55 I have opened a word file and begun a blog entry. I’m going to keep it open until I have to leave to pick up my car, which is in the shop. I’ll post whatever I’ve written along the way, in between tax returns.

It might suck. If it does, maybe I’ll post it anyway.

I’ve been reading Posnanski. What an amazing writer. If Joe were to raffle off hanging out with him for a day of covering baseball, I’d bid a real number. It would cost me the round trip from SFO to Kansas City, and I’d even throw in Joe’s dog and beer.

Of course, I’d be in Calvin Trillin’s old stompin’ grounds, KC, a place I’ve always dreamed of going to eat. The opening sentence of ol’ Cal’s first eatin’ book, “American Fried” is something along the lines of: “Not all of the best restaurants in the world are in Kansas City, just the top four or five.”

Look at all the cool apostrophes and dropped “g’s” in that paragraph! Now that’s writin’!

So I’d have a second great reason for going to Kansas City: a trip to Arthur Bryant’s BBQ, and Winstead’s for the greatest burger in the world, and the other not so fancy shmancy places Calvin recommends from his home town.

Of course, KC isn’t Joe’s real home town. He’s a Cleveland guy, though he appears to prefer Cincy chili. You notice I wrote “Cincy” instead of “Cincinnati” because I’m not really sure how to spell Cincinnati. I’m not sure where the “n’s” go. I think I have it right because my Word Spellcheck hasn’t underlined it, but then I don’t know why abbreviated box scores list the Reds as “Cinn.”

One of Calvin’s foody books includes an essay on Cincy Chili. I vaguely remember something about “3-way”, but being from San Francisco, I’m a little suspicious of that kind of arrangement, even if it’s just in my food. I’d be willing to give it a try, despite my periodic heartburn, but only if Ruhlman joins us.

Cincy is also famous for ice cream. I know this because I have a lovely client whose family was interned for a few years in Cincy, OH. She’s back on the west coast now, but she kept bragging about this great ice cream made at a place called Graeters. We had a weird hot spell in March a few years ago. We were working on Saturday (it’s what we do, after all, in the income tax world) and it was about 90 degrees in the office. Suddenly some guy from Fed Ex shows up with a big box. Inside was Graeters’ ice cream, about 4 pints of different flavors, being kept cold by dry ice. Believe me, 2000 mile ice cream on a 90 degree Saturday work day is might tasty. My client moved WAY up the list of favorite clients.

Speaking of ice cream, I’ve always loved coffee ice cream, even as a kid when I thought coffee itself tasted like somebody’s old shoe. I guess if you put enough sugar in something, you’ll like it. For those scoring at home, the same can be said for bacon, although since that goes without saying, I won’t actually say it. In fact, I simply don’t understand why everyone on earth doesn’t think coffee ice cream makes all the other flavors taste like, if not an old shoe, we’ll say something worth paying money for.

I also really like something crunch in my ice cream, either nuts, or chips, or something to provide resistance to my teeth as I bite. So why don’t we ever see “Coffee chip” or “Coffee Almond?” Instead, Baskins has Jamocha Almond Fudge. First of all, what’s with the “Ja” in front of “mocha?” Is that some kind of German or Swedish influence?

I’ll be back to ice cream in a moment, but I am suddenly reminded of a ski trip I took a few decades ago to the Laurentian Mountains with mon frère, Noah. I took some private lessons during the week from a ski teacher from Switzerland, who kept calling me “Yosh.” I liked it. I also remember it was mad cold that week, like twenty below. That week I also heard a young French-Canadian woman call somebody a cock-suck-aire, with accent on the “aire.” Larry David used that as a joke in Curb Your Enthusiasm, which made me think he might have been on that ski trip with us.

So back to coffee ice cream with something to chew in it. Why does Baskins have to shove a bunch of fudge in there? You can order coffee, or the gummed up fudgey coffee, and nothing in between. I don’t want it fudgey, I want it chewy. Hey, throw in bacon if you want, but keep the chocolate out. Putting chocolate in is for people who don’t actually like coffee. And it’s coffee ice cream, so everybody loves coffee ice cream, except I guess the people who have made Mango ice cream the #1 seller at Mitchell’s.

So I’ve yet to have a baseball reference in here yet. Hey, it isn’t baseball season. There is no baseball news out there unless you think Pedro Feliz signing with Philly (see, not Philadelphia, because I kinda get lost on the “l”) is worth more than these 11 words. I could throw in a few words about the Super Bowl, but aren’t we all sick of the New York – Boston sports rivalry?

OK, lemme find some baseball. I've opened another window and I’m looking on Rotoworld. And right away, here is a big Uh Oh:

USA Today believes the Mets have landed Johan Santana from the Twins for Carlos Gomez, Deolis Guerra, Kevin Mulvey and Philip Humber. A contract extension would still have to be worked out, so even if it is officially agreed to, this will likely linger through Friday at least. It's a pretty disappointing day for Twins fans. Both packages being discussed by the Red Sox and Yankees during the winter meetings seemed more attractive to us. Gomez and Guerra are big-time talents, but Gomez lacks plate discipline and might not fit in the top half of the lineup and an awful lot could go wrong before Guerra even sniffs the majors. Mulvey and Humber are third starters at best and probably more like fourths. It's a whole lot better than losing Santana for draft picks next winter, but we'd have taken a Phil Hughes or Jacoby Ellsbury package over this.

Not good for the Pickled Pecklers. We’re counting on Carlos Gomez playing for the Mets, or at least staying in the NL. Let’s hope the Twins come to their senses. Now I’m depressed.

Screw it, I’m going to pick up my car from the shop. I think I’ll stop at the Stone Cold Creamery on the way for ice cream made my way: Coffee with Bacon Bits. Yum.