That's a Shame

I've been overwhelmed in the past couple of weeks, both by the Busch Leaguers and by personal circumstances, resulting in a blog void. Filling the void today is a pinch hitter hot off the DL. No, not Barry Bonds. It's...

"Now pinch hitting, number 9, Kenny 9!"

Top 5 September Outcomes that would...be a shame:

1) Barry comes back, hits 9 home runs, but his .198 batting average causes the Cappers to sink to last in BA, and costs George his second BABI championship.

2) Last week of the season, Cardinals rest Pujols with an injury, and Phils rest Abreau for the playoffs after clinching the wild card. Beltran continutes to be the ‘05 Version of Beltran, and Jeff loses 6 pts. in HR’s & RBI’s as three teams go by him in each category, and loses what would have been his umpteenth BABI championship on the last day of the season.

3) On the last day of the season, Kelly Stinnett, a catcher’s catcher by all accounts, steals the first two bases in his career, and the Lickers pass the .300 pounders in steals, putting the Lickers into 3rd place and at the same time robbing Kevin of his first BABI championship.

4) On the last day of the season, the Seattle Mariners activate Jessie Foppert, and he gets tagged for 8 hits and 6 earned runs in 1/3rd of an inning, and Any 9 loses 3 pts. combined in ERA and Ratio, robbing Ken of his first BABI championship.

5) In the last two weeks of the season, desperate for wins, the Pecklers claim old favorite Chan Ho Park off the waiver wire, after he was dumped by the Busch Leaguers. Park miraculously pitches 3 shutouts and clinches the first BABI championship for the Pickled Ones!

6) In the most counter-intuitive, albeit BRILLIANT move yet, Barry drops all of his starting pitchers except rookies Matt Cain and Zach Duke for the final 3 weeks, and picks up the remainder of the unclaimed Pirates bullpen through FAAB. The Pittsburgh team wins 18 of their remaining 21 games and Barry runs off 3 consecutive weeks of 6+ of vulture wins, and 5+ saves per week with the Buc’s pen and stout starting pitching outings by the two rooks. His motto: “Duke and Cain, and pray for rain!” Bat out of Hell finishes tied for first with the Pecklers at the end of the season, but larry.dot.net points out that they did not meet the innings requirement, as the two rookie hurlers were under age according to “THE BOOK” and get dropped to last in ERA and Ratio, and plummets back into 6th place as a result. ...Now, THAT’S a shame!

Good luck gentlemen!