From the Assman

We received the following post from our avid reader, Dr. Howard Cooperman, aka "Assman" via Larry Dot Net this morning, and post it for you here:

Johnny Carson made the Great Karnak famous as early as the 60s. He would appear in this ridiculous velvet turban festooned with beads and a satin cape. Smiling in a way that let everyone at home feel like they were in on the secret, he would utter inane philosophical gems like: "May the bluebird of happiness make a nest in your navel." Then he would go to the usual Karnak schtick of answering questions which were presented to him in sealed envelopes. He would pronounce each answer with great aplomb, and Ed and Doc would repeat it as though chanting Latin prayers. After each answer had sunk in, he would open the envelope and read the question, which he had always answered correctly, in whatever fractured fashion. The answers were almost always laced with double entendres.

As you may know, Letterman and Carson were buddies and Letterman is carrying on classic Carson silliness like "Stump the Band" and Karnak. On another topic, Leno is a hack and cannot be suffered. That was Johnny's opinion and I'm sticking with it.

So on Letterman tonight, Paul Schaffer dons the turban (as he does every week) and as the Great Karnak raises the envelope and tries to divine the question sealed inside. Finally he has the answer to the question he is holding within the envelope.

He announces: "Gov. McGreevy of NJ and Rafael Palmiero"

He then opens the envelope and reads the heretofore unknown question:

"Name two guys who've lied about what they put in their ass."

Thanks to the good doctor for his professional analysis of a delicate situation.