The Meat League

Tonight the Pickled Pecklers head out to the Forrest Club to participate in another fantasy baseball league. We’ve been in that league for 4 years and have won it twice, and finished third once. It’s a mixed league, no keepers, no free agents, strange rules, pure draft. We participate in it because we know some of the guys, principally through the neighborhood butcher shop that we patronize, which is why we call it the Guerra Meat League even though it has no official name.

No, we’re not bringing a computer. Seth sent me his usual ridiculous number of excel files to review, but I don’t have the energy. First of all, I don’t know half of the names because they are players in the American League. Three years ago Doc and I chose ONLY National League players at the draft and came in 3rd. But the Doc also plays in BARB, so he actually knows these guys (I know a few Yankees, plus a few A’s, plus most of the players who have passed through the NL, like, uh….Sosa and Johnson. Oh, Johnson is a Yankee, so maybe I already counted him. So let’s say Kotsay. Oh, he’s an A, so I already counted him. I guess you see what I mean.

Let’s put it this way: I’m vaguely familiar with that Santana guy, though if you made me guess what team he plays for, I’d would, indeed, have to guess. I simply do not look at AL box scores, except occasionally to see how Ichiro did, and sometimes now to check out Sosa, who I have a major financial investment in his baseball cards. Speaking of which, does anyone out there need about 10,000 Jay Buhner rookie cards?

I hate interleague play because I have to look at twice as many box scores to get my BABI information each day. In fact, it takes me a hell of a lot longer to read the sports section during those weeks. I just do not pay attention to that “other” league. I always say it’s the designated hitter, but I just think there are too many teams to follow, particularly if you are following virtually everyone in that league. Those double leagues like BARB are just way too much work. We don’t appreciate it, but we BABIarians are kind of ultimate geeks (even Lou, over 60 points today!) to care that So Tagucci got his 10th RBI of the season yesterday. Go So!

I am now, from that phrase, reminded of the best thing on TV, a scene in Deadwood a couple of weeks ago. The whole camp turns out to watch a guy ride this whacky looking bike down the street with a big bet on the line. As he passes Al Swearengen, Al cheers him on by shouting “Go on, my boy!” OK, maybe you had to be there. I now use that phrase to cheer on my dog Max running down the hall after his ball.

One thing that kills in this other league: no pickups. At the all-star break, you can replace up to 2 players. That’s it. One shot. We had Sexson and Kevin Brown (former NL’er and a Yankee, so I know him) last year. We were dead, because we also had a couple of guys that stunk. So who knows when all-world Cliff Floyd will be drafted, given his history.

It’s the only other league I participate in. None of the guys would appreciate how much harder it is in BABI. That’s why I don’t worry about studying for it…you guys have us honed to a fine edge. That said, despite his 2nd save in 2 days, I don’t think the name Looper will come out of my mouth tonight.