Suicide By Cheeseburger

A couple of weeks ago I set up a lunch with Norm at Tyler Florence’s new hot restaurant, Wayfare Tavern. It’s tough to beat Norm to a new hot place, but I had done it, having been there for lunch just after it opened. I had ordered Marrow Bones for the first time ever, and I was in love. Plus Tyler serves big fluffy popovers instead of bread, just like the PU Club and Locke Obers in Boston (assuming that it is still there – I haven’t eaten there since 1973.)

So here I was, at a great place with great comfort food on the menu, with my first opportunity to begin my burger journey. Too many temptations were on that menu, including the aforementioned marrow bones. But how could I make such a big deal about cheeseburgers and not have one the first time I had an opportunity? Plus, I’ve got a chance to be one of the first Wayfare Tavern burger reviewers in town.

I explained my plan and predicament to Norm, who immediately offered to be one of my wingmen. I was stuck, and so I ordered:

“WAYFARE BURGER “LE GRAND" - grass-fed proprietary grind, Mt. Tam cheese, roasted onion, smoked bacon & herbs, housemade brioche - $18." You can add a fried egg for 2 extra bucks. No thanks.

Eighteen bucks. Better be good. That’s a mountain of a price for chopped meat. That said, if you put something great in my mouth and belly, you can charge me anything you want. I’ll only put you down on price if it’s no good.

I know I swore I’d eat plain cheeseburgers, but I immediately realized that if a chef has designed a signature burger, you’ve got to eat it his way. Did you really think I was going to say no to bacon? Tyler says this is the ultimate burger – ok, show me. I was in Missouri last year. And so forget what I said about basic cheeseburgers – I’ll order that only if there isn’t a specialty.

I’m a big Tyler Florence fan. I’ve probably copied more Tyler Ultimate recipes than any other Food Network Show. I record his show regularly on my DVR. I generally find my first shot at his dish a bit lacking, and he’s a little too much in love with mayonnaise, but he always has good ideas, and as he says, he makes “beautiful, beautiful dishes.” He was there cooking the first time I was in the restaurant, but he was not there today. Hey, he’s a busy guy.

So I went ahead and ordered the burger, asking for a salad instead of fries. And for kicks, I ordered Tomato Bread Soup to start. Norm ordered calamari in lemon, chili, olive oil, garlic, parsley and breadcrumbs to start, and ordered his first ever Hangtown Fry as the main. I have never had one either.

I’m not here to review the restaurant, just the burger. That said, the Tomato Bread Soup was OK – the croutons were really good, the soup just OK and not hot enough. Norm liked everything about the calamari dish except the calamari, which were overcooked. The Hangtown Fry was ok, but the oysters in it were phenomenal. And the popovers were overcooked, a big disappointment. They were perfect the last time I was there. This did not stop us from having another popover, which were better, but not as good as the first trip there.

I learned a big lesson about this project right away. If I want to live through it, I’m not ordering anything to start. These top restaurants making big $18 hamburgers are making some filling food. The last thing I needed was something as rich as Tomato Bread Soup. And I definitely didn’t need an extra popover. Burgers, particularly with big buns and cheese and bacon are not just filling, but they are like setting cement. They get more and more filling for 30 minutes after you down one. From now on I’m going straight for the burger and if I’m somehow still hungry, it’s probably a sign I’m eating too much, but I’ll just order something extra, but I doubt that will happen much.

So the Wayfare Burger: in a word, spectacular, or to put it in Tyler language, a beautiful, beautiful burger.

It’s about a half pounder, but it’s fairly tall, so it does not completely fill out the soft brioche bun. It has a layer of the Cowgirl Creamery Mt. Tam cheese, some grilled red onions and is topped with a lot of bacon. There was some kind of aioli spread on the top bun. It’s over 7 hours later, and I’m still stuffed. Everything added something, but in the end, it was all about the meat. Connie said she read that the meat grind is a combination of meats, the only one Tyler will admit to is short ribs. The meat patties are formed with a little Fleur de Sel patted on the outside.

The meat was absolutely delicious. I gave a chunk of the meat to Norm to try, and after mmm’ing a bit, said it had a minerally flavor. I don’t exactly know what this means, and maybe after a couple of dozen more burgers with him I’ll get it. But he meant it as a complement, that the meat wasn’t sweet, and we think that this represented a great beef flavor enhanced by the sea salt. I could eat a bowl of that meat. I could hardly taste the bacon. Really. I was so focused on the beef. Every bite was great, and it was a perfect medium rare. I’m going to experiment with short ribs in my hamburger grind.

Now here is another thing I care about – I hate a messy burger. I usually cut the burger in half, but today I just picked it up (and it was BIG) and worked away at it. And it never got messy, never started falling apart. I think this a sign that knifing that burger in half is a stupid thing to do, which unbalances the burger and stuff starts falling out. I learned a lesson today.

There was no tomato on the plate, and other than my dressed salad (which was lousy), there was a single, sad piece of lettuce to put on the burger. I treated it as optional and passed. Good choice.

I’ve eaten a lot of preparatory burgers in my life, and as I’ve said I have some standards – Eddie Rickenbacker’s and Perry’s. This was better. This was the best one I’ve had – right to the top of the chart. I don’t care that it cost almost a Jackson. And as another Jackson (Samuel) said playing Jules in Pulp Fiction, “Ummmm, this IS a tasty burger!” (Hear that soundbite here.)

Tomorrow night – Paragon before the Giants and DBacks. I’m thinking I’ve got to find some kind of limit to cheeseburgers. Plus, they have that great roasted chicken. Back to back days looks like an omen for a short life. But what a way to go.