Congratulations

Larry Dot Net called on Saturday to tell me Boof Brittain had left him a phone message congratulating himself on winning BABI. Dot thought that while it probably wasn’t premature, it was a breach of etiquette. Indeed it was. So what? Go ahead, Boof – do your dance.

Since Boof has already congratulated himself, and since Dot was a loser, and Mr. Leaguer laid down like a dog at the end, keeping Hanley Ramirez, I guess the only ones worth my congratulating would be … uh… US! We held on for 4th place over our Rookie of the Year, Thornton Melon, who actually was in 4th as late as Friday. I’m not sure how he got screwed up exactly, but we are, like Blanche DuBois, dependent on the kindness of strangers. So we thank Frank for his philanthropy and congratulate ourselves

Congratulations are also in order for Kenny 9, who finished with 9 points (he didn’t make innings, so he loses 1 ERA point and 5 Ratio points). Also failing to make innings are the Cappers, who lose 3 and 3, and so finish in 11th, behind the 300 Pounders, who I guess earn congratulations for somehow moving up in the rankings today.

Final thank yous to our esteemed Secretary and to his assistant (the Doc) for their hard work. Freshcakes seemed to finally figure things out somewhere just after the trading deadline, and so now that he’s comfortable, has agreed to sign on for another year – but only if we agree on a restaurant that serves what he considers to be food.

A great BABI race, a decent result for US, a decent keeper list for next year – life is good. Best wishes to you all (with 1 or 2 exceptions) and see you all at the coming banquet.

Sgt. Bilko

Willie "68 Steals and Holding" Taveras

The following was on MLB.com today:

Rockies' Taveras wants everyday role
September 23th, 2008
Thomas Harding / MLB.com

Rockies manager Clint Hurdle is deliberating whether center fielder Willy Taveras will continue at leadoff man next season. All Taveras wants is a verdict that has him playing every day, whether it's with the Rockies or another club.

Last night at the game, Willie was on the bench. Again. He came in to pinch hit in the 7th.

You guys all know where my seats are – right behind the visitor’s dugout. When he came up, I went ballistic. There weren’t many people still left at the game, and I wasn’t 15 feet behind Clint Hurdle. I got on my feet and started SCREAMING:

“I paid $35 for you in my fantasy league and you’re sitting on the bench behind NOBODIES. Hurdle, you’ve got to play this guy, it’s costing me money in my fantasy league. And Taveras, you’ve got to start hitting so you can steal me some bases.”

The people all around me in my section were laughing their asses off. Half the Rockies turned around to see the crazed guy behind them. Hurdle didn't move, but I GUARANTEE HE HEARD ME, as did Willie.

Willie proceeded to ground out to 2nd base.

I got up and screamed, “You piece of crap. Bite me!!!”

At the end of the game, Willie was the first Rockie to reach the dugout. I jumped up and yelled at him “Nice at bat, Willie.” He couldn’t resist, and looked right at me and sighed.

That made 2 of us.

I was with the Colonel, and I guarantee he’ll confirm every excruciating (for him) second of what happened.

PS - Tax Season is Still Over.

From a Friend of a Friend of a Friend

This is the Take It For What It's Worth Dept:

A friend of a friend told a friend of mine that he was drinking in a bar with Brian Wilson. Brian told him the real story of All-Star Tim Lincecum in New York.

Remember how Timmy got the flu and went to the hospital, missing the All-Star game that because of its length, could really have used him?

Uh, not exactly.

Wilson and Lincecum got to town, and they went out and DID the town. Yes, he went to the hospital, but it wasn't the flu.

It was the brew.

Hey it's what I heard. I'm as reliable as Drudge, who posted that Obama picked Evan Bayh 3 hours before it became clear it was Biden.

PS. Enough with the tax season cracks.