Jason Grimsley's No WHU

I skipped a few days here, so I’m making it up with a vengeance. Here are a few random notes:

Jason Grimsley and steroids – I really, really, really don’t care.

Except…what bugs me is that the feds who are investigating are from the Internal Revenue Service. Huh? Not the FBI or the FDA or the ATF, but the IRS.

I deal with the IRS for a living. I have never dealt with any part of the IRS that was interested in the use of illegal steroids. But apparently this is not really an investigation of the use of illegal drugs in baseball, but about the distribution of drugs and money laundering of the profits.

Sound familiar? Try Al Capone. They sent him to Alcatraz along with his case of the clap. The IRS can be tough on the criminal side. To paraphrase Mitch McDeere in “The Firm,” it’s not sexy, but it’s got teeth.

They obviously made him sweat some serious beads, enough to name names. Sang like a canary. But he wouldn’t wear a wire to entrap Barry. He’ll never pitch at PacBellSBCAT&T Park, but save a cheer for him for that. Barry is going to have to do himself him.

Brad Penny is a pretty big guy. Is there any chance that he....? Don’t care. But I do care that apparently he’s going out with Alyssa Milano? Here is the proof. That’s Alyssa on the left, not the right.

Speaking of guys who I’ve always assumed were bulking up, Eric Gagne got a save and got hurt. From Fantistics:

Gagne had electric stuff on Tuesday, mixing in a 90mph fastball with his slow 65mph hook, but the good news quickly turned bad on Wednesday. The Dodgers announced they will shut-down Gagne for a few days with stiffness in his surgically repaired right elbow. The MRI revealed some swelling in the nerve.

Gagne used to throw 99. Where did he get that speed from? And since when did 90 mph become electric? Schmidt had electric stuff on Tuesday, mixing 94 mph fastballs with nasty breaking slow stuff. I’m still on the “he’s never going to be great again” bandwagon. Anyone want to trade us Saito?

This in from Larry Dot Net:

Wednesday was not a good day to own any pitcher named O. Perez. And it was a TERRIBLE day to own both pitchers named O. Perez. As an owner who's had a few 9 spots hung up on his team this year, I think a moment of silence is in order for . . . The Bleacher Bums. The combined line:

.IP…..H…..ER…..BB
6.0….17…..16……5

That’s no Bullinger. That’s beyond a Bullinger to have them both. A new award: the Operez.

Speaking of Bullingers, Tom Glavine almost put up a Bullinger yesterday but still got the win. Those looking for starting pitching….he’s available. He’s leading the major leagues in wins. This advertisement has been brought to you by the Pickled Pecklers.

The Rips got Majewski in a deal with Kenny 9. It’s been reported that when they were balancing the deal, Boof said, “Do I have to take that guy back again?” Kenny 9 – what’s the over/under on the number of times he has Majewski on his roster this season? Majewski is a “WHU.” What’s a whu? He’s a pitcher you can take back in a trade while balancing the roster “won’t hurt you.”