Kevin's Midseason BABI Talk

Now this is what fantasy baseball is supposed to be like. Eight teams still in the money chase, transactions galore, good-natured trash talking, dissing each other’s trades, and Busch Leaguers in seventh place. Can it get any better? Well, yes, I could be in first instead of eighth, hanging on by my fingernails. But that’s a quibble. We have become the NFL: parity rules.

Has there ever been a year when so many veteran stars have underachieved, and so many marginal players overachieved? Here are some interesting midyear comparisons:

Combined home runs by Todd Helton, Mike Lowell and Jim Thome: 20
Combined home runs by Tony Clark, Joe Randa and Bill Hall: 38

Cost of each home run by Clark: 7 cents.
Cost of each home run by Helton: $6.50

Players with more stolen bases than Carlos Beltran: 31

Players on Opening Day BABI rosters who cost more than the Iowa Cubs’ Corey Patterson: 2

Closers who aren’t:
Danny Graves, Dan Kolb, Armando Benitez, Eric Gagne, Guillermo Mota

Closers you could have had for $1 on Draft Day, including one who went for that amount before being waived*:
Tyler Walker, Mike Belisle, Todd Jones, Brian Fuentes*

It’s a crazy game. Now on to the teams:

Any 9
Ken is like the Japanese in World War II—just keep throwing people into battle and eventually the other side will run out of bullets. He has already made 76 or so transactions, mortgaged his house, and sold his own blood. Last week I saw him on the corner of Bryant and 4th with one of those sandwich boards that read: “will work for waiver claims.”

It seems to be working. If you want evidence that a strong couple of weeks can lead to big moves by a team, here you go. On June 14, Any 9 was in seventh place with 46 points. Now they look like the team to beat. You need a little karma to win the league, and things have been turning up golden for Ken. For example, after chewing up the NL for three months, Dontrelle Willis totally tanked in his first outing after Ken traded him, allowing eight runs in four innings. Naturally, Ken sees this as evidence that this is His Year, and he may be right. His one apparent weakness is depth in starting pitching, but he probably will solve that soon. He just needs time to get a little money together.

Pecklers
Sour Grapes has been a welcome slice of BABI navel-gazing this season, and this was the perfect season to introduce it. But as any journalist knows, documenting your thoughts for public consumption means living with what you said long after you’ve said it. As somebody who makes his living writing and editing, I admire Josh’s efforts so far. He’s honest about his own foibles most of the time, but you can occasionally see the rationalization shining through. My favorite so far is this gem, no doubt intended to assuage fellow owners after swiping $15 Miguel Cabrera from the Cartel: “we suspect Cabrera is pretty tradable besides being pretty keepable.” I suspect that is a pretty big understatement.

The Pecklers have been up and down, rising on the exploits of Pedro and Cliff Floyd, falling on the wings of Brett Tomko and Noah Lowry, who were summarily dismissed. Josh and Seth may have acted a bit rashly there, especially in Lowry’s case. But how about that Tyler Walker? The Pecklers wouldn’t have had him except for a bonehead move on my part. I had bid $5 on Walker the week before he became a closer as a contingency pick in case I didn’t get the guy I really wanted, Randy Flores. I’m not in eighth place by accident, you know. I work at it.

Lickers
Who does Lou know at BALCO? Clearly, he has been giving his pitchers banned substances. How else do you explain all of them having career years simultaneously? Doug Davis and Chris Capuano have combined for 19 wins. Ryan Dempster has been lights out as closer. Loaiza, Patterson and Marquis all have exceeded expectations. Meanwhile, Livan keeps rolling along. I’d like to say the Lickers had a brilliant plan, but nobody is smart enough to have predicted this. Enjoy the ride cuz it probably won’t last. Any team built on overachievers in the first half must be considered a candidate for a second-half swoon. What happens if a couple of these guys falter? Hitting is thin, with only eight everyday players. The Lickers may end up winning the steals category, but are likely to sink in both HRs and RBI unless Thome comes back big and they make some deals. I suggest they trade Patterson immediately before he wakes up and realizes those injections have shrunk his nuts to the size of peas.

Bat Out of Hell
The modern day Murderer’s Row. Derrek Lee, Morgan Ensberg, Aramis Ramirez, Jimmy Rollins, Brian Giles, that other Giles. (And I didn’t even include Victor Diaz.) Barry has 48 points on offense at the break. If only there were prizes for winning half the categories. Unfortunately for the Elder, pitching still counts. To be fair, losing Hudson and Prior for significant stretches really hurt. But he’s so far back in some categories now, you wonder where in the Hell this team is going. He is trying—adding Belisle with Fuentes (one of the better moves Barry has ever made) probably gets him 3 or 4 points in saves. Looks like that Ryan Wagner experiment didn’t work out so well.
Can Bat win it all? If Hudson comes back strong and Prior is Prior, well, you never know. Bummer about Todd Linden, though. Uh, you knew he played for the Giants, right? Just checking.


Hobo
Noel and Hank are excellent commissioners. Just the facts, no editorializing, no added drama. And no whining, which is laudable considering the luck, mostly bad, they’ve had this year. Who could anticipate Helton tanking? Or Corey Patterson ending up in the minors? Throw in an injured Phil Nevin and you can see why they needed to go out and get offense, even if it meant giving Busch one of the best ERA eaters in the league. Frankly, though, I don’t think Hobo’s starting pitching is good enough to give up Oswalt. There’s a lot of baseball to play, and while he and Carpenter together could thwart bad outings by other guys, that cushion is gone now and the younger pitchers will be exposed.

The decision to keep Latroy Hawkins at $14 looks worse all the time. (Although who am I to talk. I traded a perfectly good player for Danny Graves.) And now they have Brett Tomko, too. I hope you guys have a good therapist.

Cappers
George’s team is like the Mike Matheny of BABI. Quiet, unassuming, unflashy, and handles pitchers well. If George wrote a blog, what would he say? I’m not sure, but I’d probably read it. Every season, he manages to find a sleeper or two who comes up big. Last year, it was Vinny Castilla. This year, it’s Clark (13 HR, 47 RBI, .324 BA). I guess the formula is currently underappreciated corner men who aren’t quite as old as Julio Franco. (No, Mark, Jeff Cirillo doesn’t qualify.) George also made an astute trade, capitalizing on great early season numbers from Felipe Lopez and Jason Lane to extract Rolen and Klesko from the Rips.
This is a team to watch in the second half. It’s only a matter of time before Cappers takes over first in saves--despite having lost Brandon Lyon--and his starting pitchers are solid. When they get Freel healthy, they’ll likely move to first in steals; and they’re close enough in HRs and RBI to make big moves. They could finish with 70 points without breaking a sweat. And nobody will hear them coming.

Busch Leaguers
The mystique is beginning to look a little worn. For the first time in a long while, injuries and plain old bad luck are conspiring against the perennial powerhouse. Sheets, Gagne, Lidge and Holliday all went down with injuries. Oliver Perez has looked more like the clueless Padres rookie he was rather than the alleged Pirates ace he is. And now he’s out, too. Beltran’s numbers resemble that other highly coveted franchise-maker: Rob Mackowiak. And in an uncharacteristic blunder, Jeff waived Fuentes, who subsequently became the Rockies closer. However, Jeff deserves special mention for pointing out that Barry, not himself, should be awarded Fuentes in the subsequent waiver war, preserving his integrity if not his title hopes. But this just in: the Oswalt trade may have saved the day for Jeff’s team. Busch’s first attempt to bolster his pitching actually made things worse. Maddux, despite a good outing Sunday, is being regularly pounded, and Derek Lowe throws too many pitches Highe. On the other hand, he also got Bobby Abreu, so let’s not get all weepy for Jeff. I imagine who ever is in first place is going to be looking over their shoulder at Busch. Old habits, like old champions, die hard.


Pounders
For weeks I’ve been getting emails from other owners wondering the same thing: “Are you ready to dump?” No, thank you, I’m going to wait a while longer. I may be delusional, but I like my team. I survived a series of career-defying, epically bad outings in the early going. I mean, you can only absorb so many 2-inning, 8 ER lines and still have a pulse this late. But my staff is sound--I’ll take Zambrano, Mulder and Weaver against any threesome in the league. I should get a boost when John Thomson and Chipper return. I only need 10 points to finish among the leaders, and that’s very doable. Don’t I sound convincing? Isn’t life grand? The only problem with this cheerful scenario is that it assumes Cory Lidle and David Williams stay solid. It will only take a couple of more Graves-like meltdowns to doom my chances. If that happens, you may see a fire sale. What do I hear for Carlos Lee?

Falkuhns
Larry shared with me a headline that ran in the Chicago Tribune the day after the Cubs star shortstop was injured. It read: “No More Garciaparra.” That more or less sums up the Falkuhns season. Not that Nomar would have elevated the team to contender status—it would have taken more than that—but because very early on it was clear that the Kuhns would be looking toward next season. So Larry’s management has centered on getting the best possible return on his blue chippers. The league’s title hopefuls haven’t exactly lined up to get Andrew Jones, but Larry already has unloaded Shawn Green, Chipper Jones, Billy Wagner and Yhency Brazoban, the latter to Any 9. And just to spice up the deal, who did Larry throw in? Garciaparra. He’s mad as hell and he’s not gonna take it, Nomar.

Old Rips
Mark made a nice little run there for a while, rising within shouting distance of the contenders. But I think he realized he was maxed out, and wisely played for next year. That decision also allowed him ample opportunity to entertain trade offers, which is like an intravenous drug for Mark. There was some head scratching on the Abreu deal but Mark was absolutely determined to extract Lidge from Busch’s roster, and he did it. And he parlayed a couple of unproven pickups—Antonio Perez and Mike Belisle--into a good keeper, Clint Barmes. He’s done a lot with a little. My only question is what Mark will do to fill his days after the trading deadline. Can you say fantasy football?

Bleacher Bums
Have Doug and Frank moved far away? Were they kidnapped? Are they trapped beneath a large object? The Bums made one trade, and a pretty good one, getting Billy Wagner for Guillen. But unless I’m missing something, that’s the only transaction they’ve made all season. Perhaps they became so accustomed to letting injured players ride along unreserved that they have forgotten how FAAB bidding works. Guys, it goes something like this. If you have a really shitty player, there are other players who from time to time are called up from the minors or play themselves into the lineup and become useful substitutions. In these cases, the typical procedure would be to take a few dollars and “bid” on those players, hoping to acquire them and replace said shitty player. Or maybe you just really like Roger Cedeno. Hey, we all have our favorites.

Doyle Cartel
I just want to go on record to say that had I known Cabrera was available for an injured outfielder and an overhyped $1 Dodger of questionable Werth, I would have happily participated in such a trade. But based on Greg’s trading strategy last season, I assumed that no less than my best two players and at least one testicle would be required to even discuss Cabrera. I really like Greg, but this trade perplexed me. Am I missing something? Aren’t dump deals supposed to feature guys you aren’t planning to keep next season? On the other hand, Burke and David Wright were good gets. Weeks looks for real. If Cabrera were still on this team, I’d be looking at Cartel as a contender for next season. Instead, I’m forced to make jokes about genitalia.

Which seems like an appropriate place to stop and say, good luck all. This is a great season and already has been loads of fun. See you in October.